This is my seventieth blog post. Come November, I will have been a blogger for two years. Had someone told me this two years ago today – about three months before I started blogging – I would never have believed them. That was something other people did. Who knew I had so much to say?
Seven years ago this summer I opted out and in. I opted out of a business career and became a sociologist and academic. Had someone told me that seven years earlier, I would just have laughed dismissively. That was not for me. But then one day I started playing with the idea of going back to university. I knew it would entail some sort of a change since I also knew that having a PhD isn’t always a forte in the business world, where it’s good to be qualified but not overqualified. However, little did I know what a lifestyle change it really would entail. Not so much on the outside, I still look the same and act the same. No, the change is more on the inside. It’s like a whole new world has opened up for me. So what do we learn from this? I guess John Lennon had a point when he said, “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.”
In seven days my summer vacation is up. Anticipating the end of my stay on this paradise island, where I spend much of my time off – where time is unimportant and schedules nonexistent – always makes me a bit blue. Still, I have exciting things to look forward to. In September I will embark on my project, which really is a dream come true. One that I almost gave up on, but then thought, nah, I’ll give it one last shot.
It’s seventeen weeks since my dad passed away. A friend said that although people tell you to get over it you never really do. And it’s true. Although no one has said that to me, the emptiness he left behind is still as big as on the day he died. And that’s exactly the way I want it; I want to feel the emptiness because it keeps him close. As I learn to live with it, it still continues to kind of cast a melancholy tint on things. It’s hard not being able to share exciting news and talk about things the way we used to.
As I sit here, I ponder the bittersweetness and irony of having and not having, wanting and not wanting. But I guess that’s pretty much reflective of life in general. Life is not only sunshine and roses, it’s complicated. But still, I’m very lucky.